- Obviously the only reason I saw this was because of my undying devotion to Gary Oldman. I have no love for Jim Carrey and even less for Robert Zemeckis and his insistence on abusing motion capture technologies to turn much loved classic tales into horror films. The only abuse of mo-cap I like is the abuse Mokap from Mortal Kombat receives. FINISH HIM!
- The only reason one should ever do a remake (if one absolutely has to do a remake) is if one does something different with the story in some way, e.g. reimagining the story in a different era. You could argue that 3D-ificiation could be what is different about this movie but the technique alone is not enough to rescue this movie from being a pointless and at times ploddingly boring movie. You’ve managed to accurately render amazing skin textures on Scrooge’s nose. Whoopee. What does this add to the movie? Oh wait, nothing.
- Um, WTF was with the Ghost of Christmas Past? I know the GoCP is usually the most obnoxious of the ghosts in how it’s ephemeral and light and whatnot, but this version was twitchy and really effing creepy. I think we were supposed to laugh at all the twitching, but no one was.
- Ghost of Christmas Present, please put on a shirt. I know that traditionally you’re just a dude in a really plush bathrobe, but I don’t want to see that much chest hair.
- Ghost of Christmas Future, I like you. You can stay.
- I haven’t read the book in eons, but is Bob Cratchit described as being rather on the petite side? Because he is in this and after I got over my flashback of Gary Oldman in Tiptoes, I could only recall the depictions of Cratchit on screen by Mickey Mouse and Kermit the Frog, which clearly didn’t help me get a proper handle on his height. (Sub-note: I hate Mickey’s Christmas Carol almost as much as I hate Frosty The Snowman.)
- Truthfully, I wholeheartedly believe that The Muppet Christmas Carol is the superior version of this story. Right at the start when Bob Cratchit is eyeing a locked-up bucket of coal, all I wanted was for a chorus of accountant rats to pop up and yell “HEAT WAVE!” Also, because of the Muppet version, I got myself confused and genuinely thought for a while that the Marley that appeared in the actual story was Robert and not Jacob. Oops. Statler and Waldorf for the win.
- There’s really no point in seeing this, it was pretty bland and inoffensive. I’m sure it will do well on TV in coming years.
Categories: 2 Stars