Kills Me Dead » Movies

The Book of Eli

The unintentional comedy hit of the new year!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The only vampire pun I can think of is “This sucks” which is both succinct and true. Win-win!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Another spectacular failure involving Hugh Jackman. He needs to get his act together or else take off his shirt more. I’m not fussy

Knowing

If I’m going to see a movie this religious, it’s a good thing I did it a few days before Easter

Taken

I probably won’t hate this so much when I find it on DVD for $3 and laugh my ass of watching it again

The Unborn

The things I do for Gary Oldman, I tell you

Australia

Spectacular failure in epic proportions

Max Payne

Max Payne-ful. Yeah, that’s right, I said it

Nights In Rodanthe

Note to self: do not go see a movie just because James Franco appears for approximately ten seconds

Righteous Kill

The only righteous kill here would have been if someone had mercifully killed me while watching this

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

I don’t think I’ve ever said “fuck” out loud this many times during a PG-rated movie

Awake

I do not get the appeal of Jessica Alba

Beowulf

I swore I wouldn’t see this

Lions for Lambs

Unintentionally and exceptionally hilarious

Sunshine

Lord of the Flies in space

Mr Bean’s Holiday

Bad

The Last Legion

This movie makes a good argument for the Romans having invented cheese

The Host

So not into this

Factory Girl

For a movie about style over substance and flash over realism, this movie was noticeably lacking in the style and flash department.

Hannibal Rising

Yet another reason models shouldn’t act. Gaspard Ulliel, I’m looking at you

The Black Dahlia

Fail, Brian De Palma,

Material Girls

Miami Vice

Not all cult TV shows need to be made into movies, you know

John Tucker Must Die

Hollywood must absolutely loathe teenage girls

X-Men: The Last Stand

Pretty dumb, but in a fun way

American Dreamz

Dreadful, with a

Beowful and Grendel

OMG