Kills Me Dead

When I saw the trailer for this movie, I decided that even though I knew Dr. McDreamy would end up with Ms McPrincess by the end of the film, I secretly hoped that his only role would be to facilitate Ms McPrincess finding her way back to Mr. McPrince. It was not to be so. How on earth does McDreamy get the girl over Corny Collins?! When it comes down to it, neither of these guys are real catches, but give me Guy Smiley who believes whole heartedly in love over Cranky McCynic any day.
I clearly have issues with McDreamy. I think it’s because I actually saw Can’t Buy Me Love like fifteen years ago and when he suddenly showed up in Gray’s Anatomy and everyone swooned, I could only think of him as the guy who gave up his telescope money to buy some girl a hideous suede outfit with fringe. Oh, and the fact that he’s not dreamy, which would just make him Dr. Mc. Ugh. Patrick Dempsey.
James Marsden, I looooooooooooooooooooooove you. You are made to play roles like this, roles where your teeth can shine and you can toss winning grins at passers-by like they’re going out of style. I know we’re not really supposed to love Edward since he’s rather egotistical and can only relate to people in terms of their function in bolstering his self-esteem, but I found him ridiculously endearing. He may be self-centered but he’s self-centered in a very clueless, non-obnoxious way and he’s kind of endearing about it. I mean, he chases after Giselle for no reason other than he loves her; despite the fact that he’s self-centered, the fact that she’s his ticket to becoming king doesn’t even cross his mind. He’s earnest!! And he’s so graceful in defeat! He loses the girl he loves but he copes! And then he gets together with McDreamy’s leftovers because people who have been left high and dry by their significant others always find solace in each other’s arms.
I do not like Idina Menzel. I’ve only ever seen her in Rent — and yes, I hated that movie — but I find she makes her characters really unsympathetic, which should be especially difficult to do in this movie since her character is a woman scorned and gets treated pretty crappily despite having done nothing to deserve it and yet I still couldn’t like her.
Love, love, loved the opening/closing with the book. I always adored it when they did that in the old school Disney animated movies, so I thought it was nice to include it here.
This movie could alternately be called Let’s Reference Every Disney Movie Ever And Pat Ourselves On The Back When People Notice, which is fine in some places but not others. Giselle losing her glass slipper at the ball kind of wanted to make me gag, but the music from The Little Mermaid playing in the background as lobby muzak at Robert’s office was kind of cute.
Giselle making her dresses out of the curtains in Patrick’s apartment was absolutely priceless. Maria von Trapp, ho! Which is also fun because Julie Andrews does the narration.
Timothy Spall will be stuck forever playing characters like this, poor guy.
I kind of love Susan Sarandon. She totally pulled off the creepy hag look; her eyes were particularly lively with a look of supreme evil, it was great. ETA Also, you know she’s supposed to be evil because when she first appears in three dimensions, she promptly destroys a giant Coke billboard.
When Giselle took the bite from the poison apple and everyone was in a flap wondering what happened and the queen said “It’s alright, she just swooned”, I died. I love how that’s a genuine affliction in fairy tale world.
This movie was pretty cute.
The closing credit sequence was pretty awesome too. It reminded me of the one from 300 (er, but obviously different). I like that kind of two-dimensional collage-y type animation.

Sometimes snarky, usually indignant

Enchanted

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