1. I am an obscenely tight knitter. I think we already knew this, but colourwork just magnifies this issue tenfold. I think I fear that I’ve got all these loose floats hanging around in the back and so I overcompensate, when really I should just let it be. It go to the point where I can barely fit the first mitten on my arm; with a little bit of struggle I can make it work, but it’s definitely uncomfortably tight and if wear it too long I my stop all blood flow to my fingers.
2. Despite this, I like colourwork!
3. This pattern is really simple and while the colourwork pattern itself is pretty straightforward, I think the results are quite fantastic and look more complex than it is.

4. My casting off seems a little tight, but I don’t know if that’s just me (likely) or the nature of the binding off technique used in the pattern.
5. I think the top most part of the mitten is just slightly too long; it completes the pattern repeat in a nice way, but wearing it that length slightly restricts the movements of my fingers as I type (thus I am not wearing them right now).
6. On the flip side of this, I think if I made them again I would add a fourth pattern repeat before you start doing the increases for the thumb gusset because I think I’d like them a little longer in the wrist/arm.

7. To compensate somewhat for being a tight knitter, I went up from a US 3 to a US 4 needled for the non-ribbed portions of the mitten (hence their different sizes). Even this is slightly snug, which I find odd; the pattern says that to make the women’s large you’re supposed to use a US 3 and while my hands are larger on account of being a bigger, taller person than the average woman, I do have rather slender hands so it’s odd to me that the women’s large didn’t fit. The pattern says they’re supposed to be snug and you should size down, but if I had made a women’s medium as I had initially felt inclined to do, I’d be really screwed at this point.
8. I have no idea what “cast one stitch over gap” means and all the video tutorials I watched on the subject did not at all seem to relate to the type of knitting I was attempting to do, so I skipped this part. I’m sure this partially explains my thumb gusset gapping issues; the pattern tells you to pick up three stitches when re-establishing the round for the thumb, but on the first mitten I did five and on the second I did seven just to ensure there were no holes. Seven seemed a good number for what I was doing, although I think I decreased one too many rows and it makes the thumb a little tight.

All in all, I would definitely make these again. There are a couple of good variations in the Ravelry project pool where people have created their own pattern motifs, so there’s the potential to do that in the future as well. (Ravelry project page)

• Why Guys Really Hate Being Called ‘Creepy’
  At the heart of the "anti-creep shaming campaign" is a concerted effort to discourage women from relying on their instincts to protect themselves from harm. Laying aside its likely etymology, calling a dude an "asshole" is a way of labeling him a jerk. Plenty of people can be jerks without being predatory. On the other hand, calling a dude "creepy" labels him as a potential threat; a creep may not be imminently violent, but there's almost always a sense that he shows consistent disregard for a woman's physical or psychological space. This is why, as Wakeman wrote, "it's a really freaking dangerous idea to twist a woman's open, honest communication about her boundaries/expectations into ‘creep shaming' that victimizes men."
• Rape culture in up to 140 characters · londonfeminist
  "Yesterday, Ched Evans, a footballer, was sentenced to five years in prison for raping a nineteen year old woman. This is what some people on Twitter had to say. [...] This is rape culture in 140 characters or less. A culture in which after the defendant is convicted by a jury on the higher standard of proof, the woman is accused of being a liar, a money grabber, a gold digger, a ho, a drunk, a promiscuous, publicity-seeking bitch, while the "poor" rapist has had his life ruined."
• Ways for men to respond to harassment of women | Geek Feminism Blog

Soccer

• The Definitive Footy Blog Guide on How to Pick a Football Club | The Footy Blog
  "I’ll begin by saying this is an old, controversial topic in North American circles, and the subject of bitter cultural debate. Each approach comes with their advantages and their weaknesses. Before we get into them, let’s agree on the Two Principle Commandments of supporting a football club.
  I. Thou Shalt Not Support More Than One Club Not Separated by a Domestic League or at Least Three Divisions.
  II. Thou Shalt Not Switch Teams, Ever. You Are X Until You Die."
• Women United F.C.: A Launch of Its Own – NYTimes.com
  "Colvin parlayed her burgeoning passion for soccer into a fledgling business, Women United F.C., an online soccer community for women that launched March 13. The site is committed to two central goals: building M.L.S.’s female fan base and providing women with a safe haven to discuss soccer on their terms."
• Major League Soccer Blowhard Says Female Superfans Are Totally Not Hot
  While I agree that this guy is clearly a douche, I'm confused by some of the fan reaction. People are rightly objecting to Borg acting as if female fans should exist to please men… and then turn around and make CafePress t-shirts that also objectify female fans.

Miscellaneous

• How to: make a knitting needle roll
• Sewn Fabric Resume | Melissa Makes Things
  Still deciding if this would make it past my rigorous resume scrutinizing.
• Type Connection
  A typographic dating game.
• The Modernist Nerd: Vintage Science Ads from the 1950s and 1960s | Brain Pickings

1. Liverpool were good, helped by a Chelsea team that were terrible, oh my god. One could argue that they didn’t necessarily start all their top guys (Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard, and Juan Mata were noticeably on the bench, and Drogba wasn’t even named to the team) but I think the flip side of that is that this was still a game they very much needed to win if they were to retain any hope of retaking that fourth and final Champions League qualifying place. It would have been an outside chance, as Chelsea would have needed to win both this and their next game while hoping for both Tottenham and Newcastle to lose on the last day of the season (putting Chelsea at 67 points and leaving Tottenham at 66 and Newcastle at 65). While Chelsea can’t control what those other teams might do, they play Blackburn at home on Sunday, which should theoretically give them an easy three points, so I don’t buy that they were not trying to win this game.

   Unless they’re really pinning all their Champions League hopes on the CL final but… I’m hoping they’re not that stupid. I’m not saying there’s no chance they can win, just that if you have two roads to take why not do your best to try both given that rest really shouldn’t be an issue for the Blackburn and Bayern games? Oh, Chelsea.

2. I assume that they expected their defense to be better given that they were starting their backup goalie, but John Terry was appallingly bad. So, so amazing. Every reason you could ever want to take pleasure in Terry’s pain was present today. Getting beat every five seconds, some nice nutmegs, randomly falling down on the admittedly slippery pitch, general douchiness, it was all there. This will be glorious to watch on repeat for years to come. There are few players I actively dislike, but John Terry is one of them.
3. I think they need to introduce a new rule whereby if you do all the work and play the ball off an opposing player for a goal like he’s a pinball bumper, you should get credit for the goal instead of that player getting credit for an own goal. Suarez should have probably lost the ball about eight times during his run on the Essien own goal and looks like he was playing for a lucky ricochet, which he got. So, that counts as a Suarez goal for me. This is the scary form Suarez was in last year where he just zipped in and out of opposing players and no one could stop him. Too bad this was the second-last game of the season.
4. ANDY CARROLL!!! BEAST, THIS MAN IS A BEAST. Can we confirm now that he should have started on Saturday? Because yeah. I think what we’re seeing now is Carroll meeting the team half way in a way they haven’t been able to accomplish until the latter stages of the season. I still maintain he received terrible service for most of the season and then was punished by both the coaching staff and the fans for it, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen him work so hard as he has in the last month. Not just in terms of general effort but also in the way he gets into the game more and is constantly trying to get on the ball; his actually successful fancy footwork is just killing me.

   I hope that he’s able to maintain this through the summer and into next season. It’s so hard when you’re just hitting your stride and then the season abruptly comes to an end. Ugh.

5. Stewart Downing. OH, STEWIE. WHY. Evidently his trend is that he’s better in his second season at a club than in his first, but I don’t think he’ll ever endear himself to fans no matter how well he might eventually settle in. (My heart, it is breaking.) That penalty miss today was fantastic (the woodwork, again!) and I have no idea why he even took it. I realise that a) no one else on the team hits penalties anymore, and b) that Stevie wasn’t playing, but is Downing really the next go-to guy for this? Or was it a case of our go-to guys can’t hack it so we might as well just give someone else a chance? Even then… give it to Skrtel or someone, I don’t know. Skrtel’s never taken a penalty for the team before, let him have a go. Of course, had Downing scored I wouldn’t be saying this, so.
6. DANIEL AGGER, MY DANISH KING. Once I found out he was starting at left back, I told my sister I thought he’d score since he’d have more license than usual to bomb into the box. I LOVE IT WHEN HE SCORES! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Daniel Agger, Liverpool’s next captain when Stevie retires. Make it happen, people!
7. I’m always sad when Liverpool give up a clean sheet because I always picture Linda Pizzuti (LFC owner John Henry’s super awesome wife), getting really depressed. Linda loves a clean sheet.
8. Jonjo Shelvey finally scored in the league! I like to think of his propensity for drilling the ball nowhere near on target as being similar to Charlie Sheen in Major League; maybe Shelvey just needs glasses? But he finally got one on target and proved that at least someone on the team can score on a completely open net. That one was definitely poor Turnbull’s fault.
9. I feel like I’ve never seen this Paulo Ferreira kid before the last month, and I watch a fair few Chelsea games for a non-Chelsea fan. He looks so nondescript that Amelia has started calling him The Accountant.
10. Dirk Kuyt, that was probably your last game as a Red. It’s kind of sad, especially given that you didn’t get to start. See below under Services Above and Beyond™, though, for how I think he’ll be remembered by fans. I wish my Kuyt kit actually fit properly; the size is mislabelled, I didn’t try it on before buying it and didn’t discover until I got home that it doesn’t fit well. Alas.
11. Fernando Torres. Poor, poor Nando. Generally lacklustre game, which is satisfying but heartbreaking (there’s a German word for this feeling, yes?). I like when he does not get a result against us and yet it’s still incredibly tragic when he doesn’t (and not for lack of trying, the one off the crossbar was pretty good). I’ve seen some people taking issue with the fact that he as booed every time he touched the ball; I think the booing is silly but he’s hardly the first and won’t be the last opposition player to be booed. It does warrant a contrast to the Fulham game the week before, though, where both Danny Murphy and John-Arne Riise got rounding applause from the Kop for Services Above and Beyond™ during their tenures at Anfield. It is possible to leave Liverpool and remain a Kop legend.
12. This was just incredibly satisfying to watch on so many levels. This means we’ll probably find a way to lose to Swansea on Sunday. HOORAY.
13. Audrey and I attended the last home game of the season last year, but at the time I didn’t know that the lap of honour was a thing and so we dutifully filed out with most of the crowd before the players did their circle with all their adorable children. Fail, self, fail. And, of course, most feeds of the game cut to post-match pundit reaction instead of showing said lap of honour. Alas. Normally I’m not into the stalkeraziness of photographing famous people’s children, but some of these kids are just too awesome. TO WIT:
    
    Delfina Suarez, easily the most adorable child in the LFC family. Oh my god.

    
    Pepe Reina’s daughters are AWESOME. The combination of high tops, tutus, and LFC kits is killing me. Stevie G always talks about how Alex doesn’t like their girls in LFC kits, but I feel like this is a good compromise for parents who would otherwise dress their daughters in matching outfits.

    
    Jonjo Shelvey and his mystery children (I thought he had just one). The younger one on the right is the one who is KILLING me. I love a disgruntled child with a bow, I really do.

    
    This has nothing to do with ballers and babies, but I must repost it anyway because ADORBS. Words cannot express how much I love Sebastian Coates, and picking Maxi up like a small infant is kiling me. EVERYTHING IS KILLING ME.

1. Oh, FA Cup final, you torture us so. It would have been nice to win a lesser double but clearly we can’t have nice things.
2. I was not thrilled when Carroll was not named to the starting line-up. If anyone other than Suarez is on a nice run of form lately, it’s Carroll, and after delivering the goal to get Liverpool into the final in the first place maybe it would have been a nice gesture for him to get a start. When he finally came on after 55 minutes it breathed significantly more life into a Liverpool side that just didn’t look up for it up until that moment and after having his second goal unfairly disallowed, you had to wonder what kind of damage he could have done had he been on the pitch for the whole ninety minutes.

   Everyone cheered enthusiastically when he got subbed on. That was a first.

3. Daniel Agger was also excellent and, unfortunately, one of our stronger attacking threats throughout the game. I know in interviews players always say “I will play wherever the manager tells me to play” as a diplomatic response to trying a new position or trying to break into the side at any cost, etc. but I really do believe that Agger would make the jump to striker if he were allowed. Agger home kit is my next shirt, btw.
4. I’m usually a Jay Spearing fan, but I think he was completely out of his depths today. I like Spearing as a scrappy little local boy who came good on the hometown team, but I’m not sure that the quality is quite there and if this team wants to challenge for big titles and trophies, then a player like Spearing cannot be the first-string option in midfield. I know he wouldn’t be if Lucas was not injured (OH HOW WE HAVE MISSED LUCAS) but… this kind of proves that point nicely.
5. Someone from the local sports radio station was there and handed out little match-day one page programs to everyone, which was kind of cute.
6. Amelia started referring to Juan Mata as Chelsea’s Teen Wolf lately, but a cuddly teen wolf, and now I weep from laughter every time I see him.
7. I ached when they subbed on Meireles but he didn’t make much of an impact on the game since it was already won for Chelsea by the time he came on. Torres warmed up uselessly on the sidelines for a bit before resuming his place on the bench, never to come on. I hope they enjoy their silverware.
8. I know that the “cultural” component of big sports events is always important, but I’m not sure the FA Cup final is one of those events where you need this sort of thing.
9. Three pints were enough to get me good and accepting of the final result.

Onward to the Champions League final, where I desire nothing more than for Bayern to destroy Chelsea. Let the FA Cup and any future success in the league bolster their self-esteem and give them false hope.

1. Oh my god, do I ever hate 1×1 ribbing, which the cuff requires. People who do not knit but have a very basic understanding know that “knit 1, purl 1″ is a thing but they do not understand the fresh hell it presents to ye olde knitter. It’s so goddamned tedious. I dislike ribbing in the round to begin with since it takes so long for the rib to actually become noticeable, but 1×1 is quite possibly the worst of all ribs. I thought about doing a 2×2 on the second mitten but once I finished the cuff I realised that the 1×1 is the right scale for the project.
2. My intense screw up where the pattern starts should be fairly noticeable. I was going along all fine and good until I realised that at some point I’d started a new round before finishing the previous one so I was about 14 stitches off in the pattern. Oops. I couldn’t figure out where I’d messed up so I just finished the round incorrectly and then started anew. It creates some awkward non-patterning but that’s fine, I have a second mitten to do correctly from the get go.
3. I’m not minding the colour work thus far. I think I’m probably knitting too tightly, but I’m a tight knitter to begin with so I like to pretend this is beyond my control. I tried following a couple of tutorials for doing colour working while knitting with both hands but I couldn’t get used to using my left hand, so I’m just alternating colours in my right.
4. I ordered bamboo knitting needles and am really liking them thus far. As the internet vouched for, they’re less slippery than the metal ones I used for my socks and they have a nice bendy give to them that makes it easier to make each stitches.

1. Martin Skrtel Guy has been wearing his Suarez shirt for ages in hopes that it would help him get back to the form he was in last year and I think Suarez is finally back to the version of himself that must be frightening to play against. MSG lost his mind a little bit after the hat trick, so good on him.

   Also, pitch invader!

2. When the camera panned to this dude:
   
   About half the pub also started going “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” the entire time he was on screen. It was amazing and random.
3. I’d like to thank Jamie Carragher for being good despite everyone crying havoc after seeing him in the starting line up, and I include my own wailing and hair-pulling in that.
4. I really love Craig Bellamy’s cheekiness.
5. I would like to thank one Stephen George Gerrard for helping to craft a world where it is okay for heterosexual men to kiss each other. The entire pub heaved a collective sigh of “Aw!” when they showed the replay of him kissing Suarez after Suarez’s first goal.
6. Does everyone hate Stewart Downing again? I can’t tell. I think there were periods of OMGWHY today but also periods of good solid play, so I don’t know. Whatever. I’m over people hating on him.
7. I’m still trying to deal with the fact that many spaces, both online and in real life, are not necessarily places you can hang out without having to endure the kinds of things the dregs of society have on offer. There was a group of fans today who I’ve never seen before and who, on account of it being a 12:30pm start, were pretty drunk through the whole game. Fine, drink, be merry, but can you refrain from being an asshole about it? There was some point where someone (the ref, an opposing player, I don’t remember) did something they did not agree with and there was unnecessary shouting of “YOU FUCKING QUEER!”, which… really? This is necessary in life? Can you not cheer without being homophobic? People are such assholes.

All this aside, I’m happy to report that we’ve secured tickets to all three of the games on Liverpool’s summer tour, so I am pretty psyched about that. My whole family is going to the Toronto match, so that should be delightful.

I picked this pattern because the scale was small (quick to make, easy to transport) and because I haven’t done any colour work yet and the pattern claims to be a good project for beginners. I’m using Knit Picks’ Palette yarn in Navy and Claypso Heather. so far the only thing I don’t like about it is that it’s only two ply, but I’m sure I’ll get over that as the colours are so pretty. (More details on my Ravelry project page.)

The yarn came yesterday and my new bamboo needles came today, which as perfect timing because I had the afternoon off to watch the second leg of the Champions League semi-final between Real Madrid and Bayern Munich, which Bayern Munich ultimately won on penalties to advance to the final thanks to the combined brilliance of Bastian Schweinsteiger and Manuel Neuer. GLORIOUS! It’s awkward to scream alone in your apartment.

They claim to be taking the time-honoured values of the original Nürnberg sausage and modernizing it, which is great because there is nothing I dislike more than antiquated meat products.

1. I thought Suarez and Carroll both looked excellent today. I’m not sure that Carroll will get very much credit but, whatever, look at all the fucks I give about that.
2. Jay Spearing also had a good match and surely must score eventually if he can get his shots down by about twelve feet.
3. Someone has created a bingo card for this season, right? Hitting the woodwork, wasting chances, having the bulk of possession but going behind on a single mistake, losing to a “lesser” team, etc. YAY, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SEASON.
4. Speaking of hitting the woodwork, the fact that it was Jordan Henderson who hit the crossbar kills me given that he participated in this recently:
   
   I mean really. Can we please ban these types of competitions next year?
5. I’d be more frustrated if this hadn’t already happened seventy-five times this season, so at this point I’m pinning any remaining excitement on the FA Cup final and then plan on not being fussed on any remaining results after that. I’m ready for the post-season.

1. Schweini was der Spielführer yesterday, so that was exciting. He usually leads on the pitch anyway, but I still like it when they make it official with the armband.
2. Despite the constant refrain of “We’re still trying for the league title” from everyone in the Bayern camp, they made it very clear that this was not the case by sending out Schweini, Neuer and the entire Bayern bench to face Bremen. Gomez and Ribery had to come on in order for Bayern to push for that final winning goal, but it must still be depressing to know that Bayern fielded their B team and still managed to eke out a win against a mid-table opponent vying for Europa League qualification.
3. Obviously the focus here was on the away leg of the Champions League semi-final against Real Madrid on Wednesday, which is fine. I think everyone knew that although Bayern hadn’t yet been mathematically eliminated from the title, odds are that they would be so we may as well not risk anything on Saturday. Tactically sound, as Dortmund clinched the title when they played later that evening, so good choices by all.

   They better win on Wednesday, though, because oh my god.

1. German reunification match! Torsten Frings and Arne Friedrich, together again! I think the media wanted to make this out to be a more sentimental reunion than it was, as when asked about it in a pre-match interview Frings said “He is not my friend, we are not in touch.” I assume the harshness is a combination of Frings not generally giving a fuck about media narratives and also the bluntness that often comes with speaking in your non-native language. Regardless, it was pretty delightful as when the two teams went out to warm-up they immediately made a beeline for each other to have a nice Germanic chat.
2. Friedrich was inexplicably introduced on the PA system as a midfielder, which I would have thought was odd if Frings, an actual midfielder, wasn’t playing defense himself in this league. Apparently it doesn’t matter what position you played in Europe, they’ll stick you anywhere they need you in MLS. When they players actually took to the pitch it became clear Friedrich was indeed being properly used as a centre back.
3. Toronto have now lost all six of their league matches this season, which is obviously a depressing stat and has people wailing and gnashing their teeth. I’m not quite worried yet, for the following reasons: 1) they did really well in Champions League and so I think those games show what the team is capable of overall, so it’s not like the potential for quality football is nonexistent, 2) Frings has been out since pretty much the first game of the season, and while you should be able to cope without a single player it’s obvious that he has a lot to do with the team’s confidence, and 3) I’m not as invested in TFC as I am in my other teams, so clearly it’s less heartbreaking.
4. It was Frings’ first game back from injury and apart from his appalling gaffe that led to Chicago’s first goal practically thirty seconds into the match, I thought he did a great job of spurring the team into action. I constantly wonder if he regrets coming to Toronto, given the successful career he had in Germany and internationally, but the way he played yesterday revealed just how gutted he was to have caused the first goal and how desperate he was to make good on that. How badly did he want to score in the last thirty minutes? Poor guy.
5. And how many more chances to TFC create when he’s in the midfield, i.e. his proper position? A zillion more chances. I know we need him in defense, but think how much better the team could be if we didn’t and he could play midfield.
6. Reggie Lamb had a fantastic, beautiful goal, so if nothing else at least Toronto have scored at home now.
7. I don’t know, I just really like going to TFC games regardless of what the result is. They lost yesterday but the match was pretty entertaining nonetheless.

The friendly between LFC and TFC is all but confirmed at this point, so I’m pretty psyched about that. Boston tickets go on sale on Friday and once we’ve secured both those and the Toronto tickets, I’m going to start booking our LFC vacation. Yay!