Kills Me Dead

1. In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit first and foremost that Order of the Phoenix is my favourite book in the series and as such I might be predisposed to having a bit of a bias. But I also feel that I’m pretty good at separating the books from the films and my problems with this movie don’t lie in how my favourite book was translated to the screen so much as how this movie puts itself together as a film in and of itself.
2. I knew there would be pacing issues going into it for all the same reasons as there were pacing issues with Goblet of Fire, so while I feel like the first twenty minutes were a whole lot of TELL TELL TELL (rather than SHOW SHOW SHOW), I’m willing to bet I’ll get over that on subsequent viewings. I had a lot of problems with the direction in the first few scenes; I’m not usually someone who freaks out if something on screen is different than how it is in the book but considering OotP is the CAPSLOCKOMG book, the reactions we were getting from the characters were decidedly calm. Mrs. Figg was practically comatose when she told Harry not to put away his wand because the Dementors might return, which I find incredibly odd for a woman who is a Squib and thus has no wizarding skillz whatsoever with which to defend and protect herself. The same sort of thing was true when Harry first arrived at Grimmauld Place and was interrogating Ron and Hermione about why he had been kept in the dark; they’re all like “ZOMG STOP CAPSLOCKING AT US!” except there was barely any yelling involved.
3. After the initial opening bits, I was less annoyed with how things were unfolding. There were a couple of sequences I really, really liked. Loved the DA scenes, not so much for the DA themselves but for Filch. SO MUCH LOVE FOR FILCH IN THIS. If there is one character that is written completely awesomely in all the films, it’s Filch. I nearly cried when Fred & George sent him the chocolates; poor Filch must totally have thought they were from Umbridge. Fred & George’s escape was classic, of course, but we knew it would be.
4. Shipping. Ron is completely in love with Hermione in this, it’s adorable. There was a nice shot during the last DA meeting before Christmas where Ginny sort of looks expectantly or maybe even slightly jealously over her shoulder at Harry as he approaches Cho, which I thought was a nice bit of foreshadowing for HBP, especially when taken with her mad skillz that make even her twin brothers take notice.
5. R PATTZ LMFAO. I like how there is this mirror they get to paste news clippings on and then randomly it’s got a glamour shot of Deadric. I kept expecting it to talk, saying something like “WIN ONE FOR THE GIPPER!” Enjoyed the graveyard flashback liek woah, though.
6. I also did rather enjoy Harry’s dream sequences. I thought they were well edited and had a really creepy element to it. Loved the inclusion of bits from the previous films. The bit during Occlumency where they showed ickle!Harry looking into the Mirror of Erised and then had it fade to a shot of CAPSLOCK!Harry in the same relative position was nice.
7. I think part of my problem with this movie is not what they left out — as I said, I rarely care what they cut from the story to ensure that the film is a reasonable length — but what they left in. I really could have done with fewer characters, to be completely honest. Tonks was completely unnecessary. Kingsley Shacklebolt was completely unnecessary. I feel like they’re trying to make these characters too important on film when when it comes down to the movie making sense in and of itself, they’re just not relevant at all. And as much as I love Emma Thompson as Trelawney, her whole subplot could have been excised all together. If they had kept her “I’m Making An Actual Prophecy Now, Can’t You Tell By My Smoker’s Throat” voice that they used in PoA when making the prophecy, I think it would have been a lot more clear that she was indeed the smoky figment inside the orb. But as it wasn’t overly clear and she didn’t have any other function in the film, they could have just cut her completely and had the person making the prophecy be some random voice. [I know, I know, maybe this is really important for the seventh book/film, who knows.] Same with Bellatrix: she just doesn’t get enough screen time or enough backstory to make her all that important, in which case she would have been better off being Random Death Eater #6 to join the rest of the faceless Death Eaters who weren’t Lucius Malfoy. Or Percy. Percy was so irrelevant.
8. There were tons of little bits I loved. McGonagall vs. Umbridge on the steps, Fred and George comforting that adorable kid after being punished, NIGEL OMG (my favourite movie!canon character ever), the wizard rock playing in the common room, the Black Family tapestry with all the little embroidered heads, etc. There were also bits that tied thematically and visually with both PoA and GoF and I thought that was rather fantastic in establishing a nice continuity. These last three films really feel like they go together as a set. I loved how the Death Eaters would show up in this black wisp of smoke; it reminded me of that random kid in PoA who said trying to catch Sirius Black was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands and I thought that was a nice tie-in.
9. I LOVED KREACHER.
10. And so Sirius Black. I’m wondering what exactly Gary Oldman did to first Newell and now Yates that would subject him to incredibly bad CGI two movies in a row. They finally corrected that awful OMGWTFBBQ!Sirius-in-the-embers from GoF — it’s not perfect, but at least I didn’t die laughing — but now they give him the lamest death ever by creating the worst ever Veil. Which is probably the most canon-accurate thing in this movie, since his death IS fucking lame in the book. Sometimes I feel like Gary Oldman plays him too paternally when he should be playing him Fun Uncle-y (FUNCLE!), but there were some nice bits where there was a playful approach to Harry and mega-Oldman winks to be had. [Seriously, it was like wink central in this movie, does he have a twitch or something?]

    WHEN HE PUNCHED LUCIUS IN THE FACE!! I ♥ YOU, SIRIUS BLACK!

11. Something I’ve been very adamant about in the books is that while Sirius might use James to guilt trip Harry (because Sirius can be an immature moron when he wants to), he never actually confuses Harry with James. Every time I’ve read the book, it’s never come across as “He’s got his dead friend back!” so much as “His dead friend’s son is similar in some respects and he’ll use that to his advantage when feeling particularly sulky.” I’m in the minority on this in fandom, I know, but that’s why I was rubbed the wrong way when he called him James during the big battle. NOT ON.
12. Ron was awesome in this, mostly because Kloves did not write him.
13. The score was excellent. Awesome set and production design, as always.
14. I think the best part for me was when Voldemort possessed Harry. Everything about it was just done so well, I nearly cried. Dan Rad was phenomenal in that scene, about a hundred times better than him crying over Deadric’s body and I thought he was fantastic doing that.
15. SNAPE’S WORST MEMORY, LOLZ. I am now laughing absolutely HYSTERICALLY at all the fucking whiners who complained about how James Walters didn’t look like what young!Sirius should look like [or insert-Marauder-here didn't look like what young!Marauder should] and how much that DIDN’T FUCKING MATTER because the scene lasted TWELVE SECONDS. LKASJDLKJAS:LDKJLKAJSD * DIES *
16. I think I’m the only one who didn’t love Luna Lovegood. Again, I feel like she was there because she’s important to the book, not because she was important to the movie. I’m really hating that approach to making these movies.

Second Viewing

When I saw Goblet of Fire the first time, I was not at all overwhelmed by its awesomeness. If I had been rating movies back then, I probably would have given it a two-star rating the way I did OotP because I was seriously underwhelmed the first time through. But subsequent viewings of it eradicated all the problems I had with it; it was like watching a completely different movie all together. Part of it was that with the pacing established the first time round, nothing felt rushed the second (and third and fourth and fifth) time and I think the other part was that it just felt much less jarring overall.

I think I’m having the same experience with OotP.

My problems with the pacing have vanished. I mean, it’s still BANG BANG BANG TOO FAST, but I can cope with it. I’m still not thrilled with the lack of capslock at both the start and the end when Harry is supposed to be capslocking his face off, but I can cope with that too. I’m still not falling all over Evanna Lynch the way everyone else is, but she’s okay. I think it has to do with her voice, not the dreamy tone itself but the complete lack of a traceable accent. Hi, these are delightful British school children, can they not sound as such?

I hate that I couldn’t have my second viewing experience be what I experienced the first time I saw it. With Prisoner of Azkaban, I completely adored it right from the beginning; I didn’t have to see it more than once to know that I loved it. I think with each subsequent viewing this one will go up and up in my books, but it just completely perplexes me how it can be so imperfect the first time round and so ridiculously awesome the second time round. PERPLEXED, I TELL YOU.

Anyway, points:

1. We all know I get really cranky when people complain about what they leave out of the movies because, like, give it a fucking rest already. But! I feel like they more than compensate with the little details they throw in here and there that are only awesome to the people who have read the books. I mentioned the goat at the Hog’s Head when I first saw the movies — greatest shout out to fandom ever, by the way — and I love when Arthur and Harry get in the lift at the Ministry and there’s this wizard holding a box with what we know is a fire breathing-chicken inside. You can’t actually see the chicken, just the box and some flames, but readers know precisely what is inside.
2. Umbridge’s office is just so perfect in every conceivable way. She turned the stones in the wall a pale shade of pink! She has pink sugar! Revoltingly coloured pink tea! The picture of Fudge on her desk! Love it when she turns the photo face down on the desk and says “What the Minister doesn’t know won’t hurt him”. CLASSIC.
3. Draco Malfoy is so boring. He finally stopped being lame in the books in HBP, so here’s to hoping movie!Malfoy gets seriously awesome in the next film. He’s just so … I want to laugh at him every time I see him on screen. I mean, is he for real? I like to complain that Ron has been poorly written in movies two through four, but Draco is equally crap. Crabbe and Goyle are complete love in this one, though.
4. I love that the Weasleys fashion sense, family-wide, could be described as Haight-Ashbury chic. It’s just so freaking perfect and I love how consistent it is from film to film. Mrs Weasley looked particularly den-mother-of-a-hippie-commune in this one. I kind of refuse to believe that seventeen-year old twin boys would still willingly dress the same, though.
5. Ron. Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron. Ron is just PERFECT in this movie. PERFECT. Perfect in a way he hasn’t been since Philosopher’s Stone, perfect in the way he was before Kloves decided Hermione was actually The One With The Power To Vanquish The Dark Lord. It’s just all the little lines he gets, like when Crookshanks makes off with half an extendable ear and he plainly says to Hermione “I hate your cat, Hermione.” Slays me, slays me, slays me. Ron is just such a boy, I love him to pieces.
6. We noted that it’s ironic Hermione mentions how Cho spends half her time crying when in the previous film her style of acting was to be near tears and shriek all the time. OFF TO BED BOTH OF YOU WTF.
7. Speaking of Cho, for some reason they’ve held her back a year at school because when Hermione is listing all the emotions not-a-teaspoon!Cho is currently experiencing, she says that Cho is nervous about her OWLs. O RLY? Clearly she failed them all the first time round because she had to write exams after her boyfriend’s death.
8. Love the wizarding wireless in the common room. I love how a giant light bulb is a really important aspect of its construction.
9. The giant banner of Stalin!Fudge in the Ministry is incredibly heavy-handed but kind of freaking hilarious at the same time.
10. Harry gets in trouble for using magic in front of a Muggle but the Advance Guard can fly broomsticks IN FRONT OF PARLIAMENT and no one bats an eyelash?
11. So… when did Mad-Eye’s Gnarled Walking Stick of Doom™ become imbued with super powers? I love how he can use it to ward off Death Eaters, but more importantly how it reveals the location of Grimmauld Place. I mean… knock three times on the ceiling if you want me, twice on the pipe if the answer is no and suddenly it appears? Good security you guys have there.
12. Still have so much love for Kreacher. Grimmauld Place is creepy enough as it is what with Harry going up the stairwell lined with stuffed house elves in bell jars, but then to have Kreacher come out of nowhere muttering is so freaky. He could have easily been so comical, but they did such a fantastic job with him, omg. He’s barely on screen for two seconds, but his entire character is fleshed out in that time. ROCK ON, KREACHER.
13. Speaking of which, whoever mentioned that Ma Black was totally in the movie was right! I noticed the portrait that Kreacher was cleaning the first time I saw it, but I never heard her muttering her obscenities. She actually says “Shame of my flesh!” and I died. I can’t wait to see this on DVD and watch that bit with subtitles to hear what else she’s saying.
14. Hey, Weasley twins: Gandalf called, he wants his firework dragon back.
15. Is that kid with the fanon!Marauder!Sirius hair in the DA supposed to be Michael Corner?
16. I kind of love how Voldemort is inside Harry’s head and telling him to Crucio Bellatrix. If only she knew how expendable her master actually thought she was!
17. RALPH FIENNES. I seriously think this might be the best casting job of all the adult characters. Everything about the way he plays Voldemort is so fucking bang on, ugh, it kills me.
18. Speaking of adult characters, I’m kind of getting bored of Rickman’s Snape. I don’t know if it’s just a general boredom with Snape himself and desperate desire for him to just STFU, but I increasingly get the feeling that Rickman is playing him now as a parody of what he was in the earlier films. I don’t find his character nearly as appealing as I have previously.
19. They really could have cut the whole Grawp storyline. I don’t find him cute and I don’t find him terribly relevant. Sure, it explains why Hagrid was away until after Christmas, but considering the only person who even made note of his absence was Dumbledore while introducing Grubbly-Plank, I feel like they could have just had Hagrid there all year and cut Grawp all together.
20. Frank and Alice Longbottom are CUTE AS HELL. They’re freaking adorable, omg, I’d want to avenge them too.
21. Loved the “SNIVELLUS, GREASY!” chant in Snape’s Worst Memory. Oh James Potter, you are so phenomenally lame. Loved how Sirius basically existed as flash of a hairstyle and nothing more. LMFAO. And I love how they were like “MUST START OCCLUMENCY LESSONS THIS INSTANT!”, five seconds after Arthur is attacked.
22. The duelling in the DoM was excellent. It’s like how the light sabre fights in the original Star Wars movies are kind of lame when you see how awesome actual trained Jedi are at wielding their weapons in the prequels. [Heresy, I know.]
23. Speaking of which, during their duel, did anyone else expect Voldemort to say to Dumbledore “It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force magic … but by our skills with a lightsabre wand”? It’s kind of awesome to watch wizards with Super Skillz go head to head like that. Luckily, Harry didn’t get his arm cut off in the process.
24. Love Flitwick pumping his fist when the twins make their escape.
25. Sirius’ death is still the worst thing in the entire movie. Oh my god, could they not find any ragged fabric in the whole of England? Hell, borrow Remus’ robes if you have to, they’re always described as tattered and frayed!
26. Presumably the Visitors’ Entrance at the Ministry of Magic is for non-staff wizarding folk, yes? So then why on earth does it require the use of Muggle money to dial the appropriate number to gain access? [I don't think it needs coins in the book.] How many witches or wizards are going to casually be carrying around Muggle change in their pockets?

So yeah, I liked it a lot better this time round.