his armband proved he was a Red (Torres, Torres)

Well, that’s over then. If you had asked me in November what my greatest fear of the transfer window would be, I would not have hesitated to say that it was the possibility of Bastian Schweinsteiger going off to Real Madrid, Chelsea, or (gasp) Manchester United. That was my fear. And then Schweini laid it all to rest by extending his contract at Bayern Munich until 2016 and all was well with the world.

Of course, instead I apparently should have been worried about being blindsided by the Fernando Torres transfer.

Blindsided is perhaps too harsh a word, since he’s said in the past he wants to win silverware and that may not be possible at Liverpool. As I said the other day, that’s fine, it’s just the timing and reaffirmation of loyalty towards the club that made this seem to come out of nowhere. Clubs putting in random bids? Sure, that’s expected. The player himself asking to get transferred? Yikes.

I was inexplicably optimistic about perhaps being able to pull out of this with Torres intact at Liverpool. I have no real reason why, just a rather desperate hope about it. Maybe they wouldn’t come to an agreement in time with Chelsea. Maybe King Kenny and Stevie G would be able to talk some sense into him. Maybe the invisible helicopter wouldn’t lift off from Melwood. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But, it was not to be, and by the time I got wind of the Andy Carroll signing I knew it was over. You don’t bring in Andy Carroll if you’re keeping Fernando Torres.

When I develop a new hobby or interest, I tend to get obsessively intense about it. Soccer is no different. Perhaps it’s a bit silly, but the last three days have been causing me physical pain due to tension and stress. I spent much of today feeling nauseated and when Liverpool finally updated their website to announce that they had accepted the transfer free from Chelsea for Torres and that he was now free to talk to them, I had to get up from my desk and go to the washroom because I was pretty sure I was going to vomit. Felt that way for the rest of the day and then again with renewed vigour once the first photo of Nando with a Chelsea jersey showed up online. People, I have FEELINGS. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS.

And then Torres said this in his first press conference as a Blue: “It is the dream for every top class footballer to play at a top class club and now I can do that.” Ouch.

The kicker is that Liverpool play Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, which will basically be death incarnate for me, I think. When I bought my Torres jersey, one of the considerations I made is that you want to get someone whose name and contributions will still be respectable even after they’ve left the club; it didn’t occur to me at the time that this was something that would happen so soon. I think wearing this jersey to the pub on Sunday against Chelsea will be a little bit of “TOO SOON!” for my liking, so I’m happy I also have a jersey with no name on it. Small mercies. Still. Is there an appropriate length of time one waits before wearing it gain? Where are the etiquette books on transfer-related mourning?

Amelia points out that there are some positives, i.e. all our new signings and departures. Carroll and Suarez in, Konchesky and Babel out. Win win. I just can’t get excited about these yet as the news about Torres leaving hasn’t even really sunk in yet.

And because one should end such a ridiculous post with something more worthwhile: Google and Twitter hook up to allow Egyptians to Tweet.