- This movie was like a good sandwich ruined by a bad choice of bread: everything in the middle was enjoyable, but the start and finish left a really bad taste in my mouth. It was like having a club sandwich on a cinnamon raisin bagel. I’ve done that before; mayonnaise and raisins don’t mix.
- Speaking of things that don’t mix: archaeology and aliens. I think, for what it was, they did a good job integrating the alien storyline into the kinds of religious / supernatural themes that existed in the other films, because at least these aliens were part of an ancient culture’s religious beliefs. I still can’t completely accept it, though, because it just feels at odds with everything I know and love about Indiana Jones. I sort of lost it when the interior of the pyramid started collapsing in on itself and the flying saucer appeared. That, combined with the shape of the groundhog mound at the start of the film, made me hate Close Encounters of the Third Kind just a little bit.
- I officially hate aliens with elongated skulls.
- I enjoy Shia, but he was pretty average in this. Tarzan!Shia, on the other hand, is one of the STUPIDEST things I’ve ever seen on screen. Who okayed that? And more importantly, why???
- Um, I think I just found a movie I hate Cate Blanchett in. It’s not that she was bad per se, just that her character was fucking ridiculous on so many levels and that makes me sad for her. Plus, she was forced to wear Kim Cattrall’s wig from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and thus I was secretly hoping she would try a Vulcan mind meld on Jones.
- Most ridiculous fight sequence: Cate vs. Shia sword fighting while straddling moving vehicles. Come on.
- Even though I’m sure everyone knew it would make an appearance, I liked it when the box housing the Ark of the Covenant got busted open on the corner.
- Loved the portrayal of the fifties in this, especially the jocks vs. greasers bar fight and the faux-city disguising the military base.
- Hated the wedding. So pointless.
- Ray Winstone > everyone except John Hurt. John Hurt > everyone.
- Harrison Ford is still pretty spry and is still pretty good in the role when they’re not having him deliver lines rife with self-referential mockery about his advanced age.
- Also, can we stop with the portrayals of indigenous peoples as a violent savages already? Come on, Steve, you’re not Mel Gibson.
- “I have a bad feeling about this.” Wrong series, George Lucas.
- Speaking of which, I think in the end this movie is like the Star Wars prequels: it doesn’t matter how bad it is, it’s still a new Indiana Jones movie and that fucking rocks.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Not exactly a high point in Uncle Steve’s career.
IMDB Plot Synopsis Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.
