- WOW, THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE.
- We were the only ones in the theatre laughing. I’m not sure how this is possible, given that the movie is hysterically absurd in so many places. The writing is awful. Awful. Did I mention it’s awful? Because it’s pretty awful.
- You know how there’s always one saving moment in any otherwise terrible film, one that almost makes it worth seeing? For example, the Jesus with a watterbottle hallucination from World Trade Center. In this one, it’s the scene where Meryl Streep’s character is walking around looking at all the photograph’s in Senator Tom Cruise’s office, only every single photograph is comprised of important American politicians and Tom Cruise’s head Photoshopped overtop of someone else’s body. DIES. First there’s one of him, Dick Cheney, and Colin Powell, then it follows with one of him and Dubya. By the time they show him with Condoleeza Rice, we were in tears, for real. Senator Tom Cruise supposedly graduated first in his class from West Point, so there’s also a wonderful photo of him in full military dress and what I imagine is a head shot from A Few Good Men pasted on top. It’s stuff like this that makes me want to be a props master.
- The best scene was the one where Meryl Streep freaks out in her editor’s office, otherwise everyone was sort of bland everywhere else.
- Tom Cruise plays smarmy really well. Who knew?
- Okay, what on earth compels people to name their sons Todd? I do not understand the appeal of this name. It also helps that Todd-the-character in this was a bit of a tool.
- This movie basically moralizes at you for about ninety minutes before ending. Mercifully. The tagline for this movie is “If If you don’t STAND for something, you might FALL for anything” except it doesn’t really dig terribly deep about this idea. I think the worst instance is with Meryl Streep’s character: she’s a reporter and Senator Cruise rants at her that the press had just as much to do with selling the war in Iraq as the government did, blah blah blah, and she just sort of falls apart and says “OMG YOU’RE RIGHT”. And then that’s it. Nothing about how these things happen or why they happen, beyond on a superficial level. When you have an opportunity to ask deep, probing questions… why not ask them? Bah.
- Todd comes in at the start of the movie carrying two cups of Starbucks coffee for himself and Professor Robert Redford. I kept waiting for Professor Redford to makes some comment about Starbucks representing American imperialism or the evils of capitalism or [insert whatever thing here that might be loosely connected in some way to the War on Terror], but apparently they were just drinking coffee.
- I think if Grindhouse proved anything it’s that only Bruce Willis — not Tom Cruise — can really end the War on Terror.
- At the end of the movie, Todd returns to his frat house and Generic Frat Boy asks him how is meeting with Prof. Redford went and what his grade is going to be. The final line of the movie, repeated several times, is “What are you getting?” You kind of get the feeling that they were *this close* to tacking on “A CLUE!!” to the end of it. Kill me. Now.
Categories: 1 Star
First: yeah, I still wonder what my folks were thinking to name me Todd.
Note to parents: stop it with the “creative” names that will only mark your child forever.
Name your kid something boring and traditional, like John or Sarah (or Elizabeth). That lets them decide if they wanna be Johnny or Jack or Liz or Lizzie or Beth or whatever. Choose a name that doesn’t mark them for life as stuck in a particular decade or social class.
Should be simple, but apparently it’s not.
Second: this film sucked sooooo bad, I had to check if you’d seen it & reviewed it here. Thanks.
What a sloppy, preachy mess. All this and it still manages to be completely confused about what its message is supposed to be.
If you want to see another military-themed pontificating-plot-train-wreck starring Robert Redford, may I recommend “The Last Castle”? It’s another unintentional laughfest.
Third: as an American, this kind of militaristic ‘patriotic’ horseshit always makes my skin crawl. Where are the real anti-war movies today? the anti-empire films?
I’m really afraid to think what future historians will make of these American films 500 or 1000 years from now (if civilization lasts that long — & still produces historians). Imagine a 24th-century course on “American Empire Military Propaganda in Hollywood Film”. Think of all the movies they will study: “Air Force One”, “Independence Day”, “True Lies”, “Rambo”, “A Few Good Men”, and on and on. And the messages that future historians will dissect in these military propaganda movies: our cause is just, our enemies are everywhere & are treacherous, true patriotism = glorification of military might & empire, etc.
It’s sad to think about. Just makes me feel embarrassed at how we accept all this brainwashing.
Did that last part make any sense? Is it just me? Does anyone else feel the same way?