sweet Carroll nine

Andy Carroll, you are making my life difficult. I want to stay reserved with my support and yet with performances like today, you make that increasingly more complicated.

The email conversation I had with my sister, who could watch live while I could not, prior to the game starting:

Amelia: settling in with sandwiches to watch LFC
I predict Carroll scores a hat trick!!!
John Flanagan wtf?
too many injuries
Me: OMG I am jealous that you are watching.
Who the hell is John Flanagan?
Amelia: our starting 18 year old left back. Obviously.

And with that I was totally depressed. I know nothing about the Liverpool youth team beyond Conor Coady so when I found out the squad depth was so bleak today that an 18 year-old from the youth team was making his Premier League debut against Man City, I wanted to die. Nothing good can come of this! … or so I thought. I like being proven wrong in situations like this.

1. Andy Carroll!
2. What is this goal celebration? Harry Potter-style pincers? Felix Felicis has been banned from competition!
   
   (gif by achitophel via liverpoolreds)
3. The unfathomable thing about this team this season is how a) they can play so well against good teams and so poorly against bad teams, and b) how they can play well when the squad is decimated by injury but play so poorly when the first team is at full strength. What is this madness? With Stevie G and Daniel Agger out for the rest of the season and innumerable other players out for eons, there was much collective gnashing of teeth and flailing of hands in a “Woe, what tragedy shall befall us next?” kind of way and then out of nowhere the 18 year-old call-up has a fairly strong debut and they win 3-0? Seriously?
4. Also, John Flanagan may as well be twelve years-old standing next to Jamie Carragher. Actually, were they they youngest and oldest in the starting eleven? I think they might just have been. I suppose it was probably helpful to Flanagan to get to play literally alongside Carra but I think I would have been terrified if I were him. Still, rather spectacular debut for this kid.
5. Suarez! Just for good measure, because he is always a joy to watch.
6. Meireles! For assisting on one of Carroll’s goals and being a boss as always.
7. Pepe! For barely touching the ball in the first half?
8. Kuyt! For being a machine!
9. Aurelio! For not getting injured after twenty minutes on the pitch!
10. To give City some credit for the scoreline, they were rather abysmal today.

It’s nice to win.