- This was an appallingly stupid movie. Words cannot express how terrible it was and the only thing that saved it from blatant mediocrity was the fact that it was so ridiculous that it was fantastically hilarious all the way through. Not intentionally, of course. The acting was terrible, the writing was terrible, the plot was terrible. Everything was terrible. Ugh.
- Remember this scene in Wayne’s World 2?
Wayne: Excuse me, what are you guys doing here in the middle of the street?
Chicken Man: Well, I’m putting these chickens in crates, and stacking them right here. Jim’s job is to make sure we always have plenty of watermelons.
Wayne: Oh, so you’re selling watermelons.
Jim: No, no sir. We just have to make sure we have plenty of them stacked at all times, just like with these here chickens.
Garth: What do these guys do?
Chicken Man: Well, their job is to walk back and forth with this big plate-glass window every couple of minutes.
Garth: Weird.
Wayne: Yeah, you’ve got to wonder if this is gonna pay off later on.This movie is just like that, where for absolutely no reason a bunch of barrels of oil will come tumbling out of nowhere simply so that they can ignite and Liam Neeson can look like a bad ass driving a car through the flames. There is no reason this needs to happen other than to satisfy an action adrenaline craving in the most ridiculous way possible.
- We’re wondering why a singer who had nearly been killed by a crazed fan would answer her own front door. Pop star security at it’s finest. Kevin Costner would never have let that happen.
- I feel like Liam Neeson no longer has any discernible accent.
- I think my favourite line was the bit where the guy said these Albian sex slave traders were so scary, even the Russians steer clear of them.
- Best way to spend a flight: listening to your daughter’s last frightened screams on repeat on your MP3 player. WTF.
- Speaking of which, the “good luck” thing was so, so ridiculous. And as if the head Albanian sex slave trader would have personally gone and kidnapped the two girls. He’d send henchmen. Please.
- Love, love, loved it when Liam Neeson found a way to identify his daughter’s kidnapper by looking at his reflection in a reflection on a sign and then, naturally, was able to enlarge it and figure it out despite it’s pixelation. I adore it when this happens in movies. Ten points.
- When Peter ran away up some on ramp at the airport, I started to laugh. When he jumped off the overpass, survived, and then promptly got hit by a truck, I nearly died and couldn’t stop laughing for like five minutes. I couldn’t believe they actually did that.
- I was not aware they still made disposable cameras.
- Contrary to what Jean Grey would have you believe, no, the kids aren’t all going to Europe to follow U2 on tour.
- I think there was only one guy Liam Neeson couldn’t take down in this entire movie, and that’s only because the guy snuck up behind him as he was leaving a room and obviously had an unfair advantage. Otherwise, everyone else goes down like a ton of bricks without Neeson breaking a sweat. I think my favourite part is that the worst damage we see inflicted on him is that there’s a tiny hole in the seam of his jacket at the very end of the movie. Quick, call the
ambulancetailor! - The shiek at the end was totally Jabba the Hutt. Speaking of which, who was driving his
bargeboat if Liam Neeson took out everyone else aboard? And if he didn’t, did the driver seriously not notice the kerfuffle that was going on? - You just have to see this one yourself to understand the sheer magnitude of how ridiculous it is. I can’t possibly convey it.
Taken
I probably won’t hate this so much when I find it on DVD for $3 and laugh my ass of watching it again.
IMDB Plot Synopsis A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade.
Ridiculous? I want to go to there.