- I never completed this book because it bored me to tears as a kid, but let’s hope that this is just a really awful adaptation of the book.
- The Christian allegory is strong with this one, my friends. I know you’re thinking “But Liz, the stories themselves are obviously Christian allegories, how could the movies not be?” and you would be right; however, just because the allegory is there from the beginning does not mean it needs to hit me in the face every ten seconds. Lucy was a one girl walking BELIEF IN CHRIST WILL SAVE YOU billboard through the whole thing and it made me want to break things. I think the most hilarious part was when they were in the bowels of the earth because everyone had lost their faith and Trolly McTrollerston was like “Hey, Caspian, I’ve got access to an even BETTER power than Aslan, you know.” The White Witch shows up in her wall-o-ice, Edmund shatters it, and then right behind the opening left behind the fallen wall-o-ice is this carving of Aslan. WHY.
- I hate talking animals outside of cartoons. I hate animals taking on human characteristics. When Peter and Miraz were having their one-on-one swordfight, they cut to this shot of a bear standing guard nearby and it had its fist in its mouth like a nervous human and I wanted to die. So ridiculous. My desire for normal, non-talking animals caused me to be almost gleeful when Lucy was trying to talk to that other bear and everyone except her realised the bear was going to maul her. Good times.
- Everything about this movie was entirely too cheesy. I can’t even describe it or remember it because it was so awful. We laughed heartily at so many things that were not supposed to be funny, so at least we got some satisfaction out of it.
- Can I just say that DLF is way too close to DILF? At least this time I didn’t get any inappropriate vibe between him and Lucy like I did between Lucy and Mr Tumnus.
- Also, although I know the books are roughly contemporary, this felt like a total rip off of The Two Towers, with a bit of Hamlet thrown in. Fall back to Helm’s Deep! Awake the Ents! Restore the rightful heir to the throne and get rid of the evil uncle! Kill me. I kept expecting Miraz to show up with a bottle of ear poison. He did not and I was disappointed. Also, WHERE WAS GONDOR???
- If they were giving out awards for Most Bloodless Battle On Film, this movie might win. They would stain the earth red with the amount of blood that should have been spilt over the course of this film, but apparently you cannot bleed in Narnia (unless you’re trying to reawaken the White Witch).
- While I do appreciate that Susan actually got to kick some ass in this movie, her making googly eyes at Caspian (and he at her in return) made me want to wretch. I’d understand their apparent love a little better if, you know, they had actually talked to each other at all, but it was all longing glances across the battle field and I wanted to die.
- This has nothing to do with this movie, but we saw a trailer for the remake of Journey To The Centre Of The Earth and as much as I do not want to see it because I love the original so much, they kept the DINOSAURS, thus ensuring that I’d waste $10 on this tripe. Ugh, I hate this.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Please notice how often this movie made me want to die or kill myself. Egad.
IMDB Plot Synopsis The Pevensie siblings return to Narnia, where they are enlisted to once again help ward off an evil king and restore the rightful heir to the land's throne, Prince Caspian.
I am equally appalled at the Susan Caspian THING. That wasn’t actually in the book either. Hollywood ruins everything good.