This movie is very silly. Like, really silly. The problem is that it’s not silly in a way that you can actually laugh at, at least not until the rather over the top ending in which case I would suggest everyone have a hearty laugh at that. I think Darren Aronofsky took a fairly decent idea for a movie and completely wrecked it because somehow he got it into his head that really big visual metaphors always improve your story, damnit. Like… I don’t need either the story-within-the-story nor the futuristic hallucination to get the concept nor do I even think they’re terribly necessary. They distract from what could have been a really beautiful study on life and love and loss and turn it into this circus of A LOVE THAT WILL LAST THROUGH THE AGES OMG. Like, Christ, what the fuck? I hate stories like that. I’m really not big on immortality, be it in life or love or what have you. And it’s so serious about it that if it were any more serious it would be a parody itself, which would actually make it easier to watch, I think.
That said, I don’t think it’s as awful as a lot of critics are saying it is. Or it is that bad, just that the the visual mess of art direction that I was expecting didn’t really happen as overwhelmingly as I had been led to believe it would. Which is also disappointing, because if you’re going to completely flame out with something, then go big or go home.
- Someone needs to take away Darren Aronofsky’s access to the NASA Image of the Day.
- If I were dying of a brain tumour in a house as depressing as that one, I would be pretty unafraid of death too.
- Bald!Zen!Jackman is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever encountered on screen, bar none. Well, that’s not true, because then Bald!Zen!Jackman turns into a BUBBLE BOY OF THE COSMOS, alksjdfl;kajwef. Seriously, that rivals the glowing Jesus hallucination with the water bottle in World Trade Center for the most awesomely ridiculous thing in a movie this year.
- I liked the parallel symbolism between all the stories and whatnot, but the circle motif started to grow a little tiresome. I’ve seen The Lion King, dudes, I know about the Circle of Life. [IT MOVES US ALL THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE, THROUGH FAITH AND LOVE, TILL WE FIND OUR PLACE ON THE PATH UNWINDING!]
- If I were a book publisher, I would not in a million years publish Izzi’s book. Talk about self-insert, my god. However, I do appreciate her attention to craft and her bizarre choice to write the entire manuscript [errorless, of course] in perfect calligraphy.
- Rachel Weiss looks fantastic with short hair.
- IS THERE A REASON NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THERE WAS BATHTUB!SEX IN THIS MOVIE?
- I kind of smirked when that garden started growing out of Conquistador Jackman’s flesh wound in a “Serves you right, you selfish bastard” kind of way.
- I know Izzi is supposed to be a sage, carefree spirit and all, but I’d be pretty pissed too if she showed up while I was at work and was like “OMG SNOW.” This would be inappropriate and stupid if she was not dying; it’s still inappropriate and stupid when she is dying. Bwah. And it was predictable that he’d choose her over monkey surgery during Multiple Ending #395838 because that’s the only possible way the movie could end.
- That was the swankiest hospital I’ve ever seen. Do hospitals like that really exist? I mean come on now. Frosted glass doors? Please. Private hospital, no doubt.
Goddamned two-tier health care systems. [/socialist]
The thing about this movie is that I didn’t actually hate it. There’s nothing to hate about it (which is why I can’t give it a one star rating) because it’s too boring to hate. It just sort of plods along and then it ends (mercifully).