Kills Me Dead » Movies

1. I have only two conditions for reviewing a movie on this blog: it must be something I’ve never seen before and it must be something I’ve seen at the theatre. Luckily, this screening met both requirements. I accidentally discovered that they were having a Great Digital Film Festival — i.e. it’s just digital remasterings of old favourites — at the Scotiabank, so I walked briskly (briskly!) over after work. And tickets were only $5! They were actually doing a double header with The Godfather: Part 2 but it would have ended horrifically late. On Wednesday they’re doing a double header of Dr. No and Goldfinger which I’m hoping to attend if possible. Also, this loosely-themed festival was pretty poorly advertised since I’m on Cineplex’s freaking mailing list and didn’t hear anything about it until I was randomly checking out their listings tonight and just happened to stumble across it. Social media fail.
2. It frequently shocks people that I haven’t seen this movie; I’m not sure why, given that everyone knows I like to see stuff at the theatre and that I’m horribly underwatched in the old classics department. The first hour of this movie reminded me exactly why I’ve never seen it in its entirety: it bores me to tears. Oh my god. I’ve seen the start of this movie countless times over the years and it has always failed to engage me in any way that would compel me to stick around past commercial breaks. The wedding, the horse’s head, Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes, yadda yadda. The iconic moments in the first hour almost ruin it; if I’d seen this in 1972 I’m sure I wouldn’t feel this way, but after knowing about all this stuff without any real context, it just feels like connect the dots from one great scene to another, with everything in between being dead boring. Blah. It makes up for the first third in the last two hours, but it always feels like a really hard slog for me to push through it. This is why I need to see movies in theatres: to force me to endure a film in its entirety so that I’m rewarded for my time and resilience instead of giving up before getting the true pay off.
3. Pro tip, Michael Corleone: if you’re hiding out in Sicily because it’s too dangerous to be in America, and then your step-Don tells you that your enemies know where you are hiding out, perhaps you should not move to a town that bears the same name as your entire gangster family. Seriously? “I wonder where Michael Corleone could be? LET’S CHECK IN CORLEONE.” Mobster fail. Also: having a loud and rambunctious wedding that requires parading through the entire town is not the definition of keeping a low profile. No wonder they blew up your car with your wife in it. I think “Corleone” might mean “Easy target” in Italian.
4. Speaking of which, random wedding much?
5. I really love the old dude who sings at Connie’s wedding, oh my god. Hilarious.
6. I forgot that there used to be a time when Al Pacino did not have orange skin and rust-coloured hair that rendered him monochromatic.
7. Moe Greene getting shot in the eye was brutal. Wow.
8. I kept imagining the Corleones as the Bluth family because Santino “George Oscar” Corleone was such a spectacular fuck-up who fails every time someone puts him in charge of the family business and Michael keeps trying to escape but they keep dragging him back. I kept waiting for inept Fredo to greet Michael by saying “Hey, Brother!” I guess that would make Robert Duvall… Annyong?
9. Did not love the domestic abuse scenes where Connie suffers at the hands of Carlo. The only redeeming part was when Sonny put his fist in his mouth in anger because I can’t say I was expecting that to be his reaction. Fist through Carlo’s face? Yes. Fist in his own mouth? Not so much.
10. Also, Clemenza is amazing and I think “Leave the gun, take the cannoli” was probably my favourite line.
11. Can I just say how much I love Robert Duvall in this? I love Robert Duvall in this. I should watch more of his stuff, considering every time I see him in something I always say “I love Robert Duvall”. I even love his receding hairline in this, that’s how much I love him. I love these outsiders in Mafia families who manage to do everything right and follow all the right rules that the heirs to the family always manage to break and yet they still get screwed over. He was so, so great in this. Ack. He’s the reason to watch this movie.
12. Goodfellas will always be my Mafia movie of choice because it has one major thing going for it that The Godfather does not: humour.

Tags: adaptation, al pacino, bechdel test: fail, crime, diane keaton, drama, dysfunctional families, francis ford coppola, james caan, marlon brando, robert duvall, talia shire

Related posts: Crazy Heart , American Gangster , Edge of Darkness , Oscar Race 2010: Best Short Film, Live Action , Rachel Getting Married