I’m not all that crazy about Twilight, but I did read the books. Dakota Fanning’s vampire talent is causing people intense pain (and, you know, being an awesome kid actor.) Bella’s thoughts can’t be read because of some pot twist in the fourth book. Although she really is some kind of bland, her blank mind makes her special, not vapid. Right? Right?? Oh, and the red eyes is because they drink human blood. The Cullens don’t, therefore, their eyes are golden. I don’t know why that color change is.

That scrapbooking comment was FTW, I was like WTF, you’re so weird, chica. And the creepy vamp love comment for me was “I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.” and “You give me everything just by breathing.” The rest of it I was willing to deal with, as some couples actually do work out right from the gate.

I didn’t totally hate this movie, but the one thing I couldn’t stand was that the breakup scene wasn’t as heartbreaking as I thought it would be. I will admit, when I read that I put the book down and tried not to cry. The movie scene just made me feel like “Come ON, Bella, just let him go!”

THat is my advice to the Twiharders, especially because I give it another two years before this franchise careens toward oblivion. Let Eddie Cullen and Jakie Black GO!”

YOu win at life, and so does Ack, as she also wins at life.

I actually LOLed at multiple times while reading this. Totally spot on.

Then it healed because of the healing power of sparkles. Um.

HAHAHAHA.

Alice was able to procure the proper scarf and driving gloves needed for driving through the Italian countryside in a 1960s movie.

LOLOL I wondered the same thing.

This is not romantic, Twihards, this is super scary shit. I especially love that it took father-of-the-year Charlie Swan at least five months to tell his daughter that perhaps her behaviour was unhealthy.

I also love that after those 5 months of not noticing, her dad was like “Alrighty then, I’m shipping you off to your mom instead of maybe asking you what’s wrong.”

Pro tip: you can’t read her thoughts because she doesn’t have any of her own.

LOL my thoughts exactly. And seriously speaking of my favorite Viking and yours, how wonderful would it be to see Eric & Co. face off with all the Twilight vampires? They are so badass, it would be amazing. Sigh.

Anyway I’m posting a link on my site to this, it’s fantabulous.

I think the only thing that’s changed for me as a fan since he got cast in these movies is that now there’s a younger (screechier) set of fans and suddenly I’m part of the old school group from the before Twilight era. It makes me feel like a geriatric person shaking a cane at the young whippersnappers who think they invented the term R PATTZ.

I guess he’s pretty hit or miss for me, but I’ll probably keep seeing his movies, much the same as I keep seeing Hayden Christensen’s movies for god knows what reason.